As a child of a purposefully nomadic family, traveling the world brought amazing adventures: German schlosses, the Tivoli Fountains, the Tiger Balm Gardens in Hong Kong . . . Stringing plumeria leis, shimmying to Bora Bora, and treasure-hunting shards of emerald beach glass in Waikiki sweetened my sense of misfit as the sole “haole” in 5th grade. When the class divided into two math groups, I was thrust into what everyone knew was (but did not call) the “dummy class.” I was preoccupied with feeling "different." The shame intensified my math resistance, birthed innocently in 3rd grade, when I missed instruction on “greater than or less than,” because we moved one more time. When I failed the math test (having never seen the < or > symbols before), not understanding I could not be expected to know information I had not been taught, I believed I was a “math dummy.”
This early failure created a lifetime chasm between my passion for reading and my terror of learning math. I believed I simply was not able to learn math as did my peers. For the daughter of an engineer, this was crushing. Flash forward to 8th grade in yet another country and school, and the stakes were higher. Recognizing my deepening dilemma, my mom brilliantly unearthed “Tom,” a 12th grade math tutor who would help me prepare for high school, where “the grades would count.” Collaboration with Tom was a life-changing experience and continues to serve as the foundation and inspiration for my work in Tutoring2E. Tom Todd, wherever you are: THANK YOU!
In sharing Algebra’s secrets with me, Tom never, never, never made me feel like a dummy. No matter how many times I asked him to re-explain how equations worked, he patiently showed me in ways I could understand, taking as much time and varying explanations in as many ways as I needed (without expressing frustration) to learn, to practice, and to master each concept. With Tom I could let down my guard as I was not trying to impress peers. I progressed from barely scraping by with 8th grade D’s to earning A’s in 9th grade, transforming my sense of wellbeing and confidence. Five decades later at my dad’s memorial service, a prominent military figure asked if I recalled helping him get through Algebra II in our junior year. That was official confirmation! I was NOT a "math dummy!"
There are further threads to the “math dummy” story. That 5th grade year in Hawaii , I was concurrently ushered into the “advanced” English class, where only a few got to make the journey to the Quonset hut classroom (incredibly special!) and work with a Gifted and Talented teacher. I penned a 20-page story when challenged by the teacher to choose, “stake out,” and write about one square inch of sand. “She has quite the imagination,” the faculty opined. Meanwhile, I continued reading Nancy Drew behind my math book. To this day, I am not sure how I learned my math times tables but having my dad back from Vietnam really helped! Perhaps my limbic system relaxed and allowed my frontal lobe to work.
Years later I would become an English and Special Education teacher, one who understood the agony of NOT understanding, of learning more slowly or differently from how others seemed to learn. In teaching widely diverse groups of students over many years, I experienced that countless of them were “twice exceptional,” with clear areas of giftedness, blended in mysterious combination with areas of “learning difference” (often labeled weakness or disability.) Students who might turn “b’s” into “p’s or d’s” might feel like dummies when reading, especially in front of peers, but they could rip apart and repair an engine blindfolded. The young men in the Automotive program may have saved my life by assessing my car’s non-existent brake linings by using brake caliper fractions. His self-esteem ravaged by school because of shaming experiences related to dysgraphia, another student designed a robotic pen with electronic arduinos to help other "non-writers." He then successfully double majored in engineering and physics. Other students were extraordinary filmmakers, artists, vocal performers or dancers, yoga instructors and engineers. Each of these wonderful students was uniquely talented, and many of them had completely shut down on school until they experienced the value of their strengths and passions.
Over the years, technology "aces" repeatedly rescued me from digital phobia and embarrassment. I worked with sensitive animal trainers, traveling athletes, a young woman who created a flourishing nursery and greenhouse business, professional models and brilliant performers who were unable to “pass classes” because schools would not make exceptions for their travel schedules. A student with environmental illness (failing school for lack of attendance) earned PERFECT scores on five AP exams. Each of these students was truly gifted while also having areas of learning difference.
These experiences confirm my belief that ALL students have areas of brilliance and challenge. We are all able to learn far more than we or those around us think we are capable of learning. Finding “doors” into our unique learner pathways is the key. Math Dummy? No way! 2E!
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